What 2 weeks with out internet has taught me.

So after uprooting myself from my home in Illinois to Alaska I was uprooted again. We stayed temporarily in a friend of the families house while they were on vacation. Well almost immediately we lost the internet and again almost immediately I panicked. What in the hell would I do with out in the internet for a little over two stinking weeks. I thought I was going to die...a slow painful death. My life was on the internet. Now that I was so far away I had come to depend on Skype sessions with friends to stay somewhat sane, this blog to funnel all the crazy thoughts in my head, FB to I dunno..uhm stalk people? and all of my bills are paid online. I was internet hooked. As I slowly started to accept this new old fashioned world of living it started to feel nice. I actually read, a lot. I listened to a lot of music. I would crave the moments of being alone in my room and playing Les Mis and cursing spider solitaire. I didn't rotten tomatoes a movie before watching it, I just picked it out of a closet and enjoyed it. 

Coming back to the house to do some necessary maintenance online, I found myself almost jittery.Some giant panic attack would take over me as I logged into FB to update my blog. This giant wave of updates splashing me. Coming back today I spent a lot of time online and y'know it kinda sucked my soul with it. I enjoyed the almost slower pace of not having internet.

I don't really "believe" in new years resolutions. To put it childishly, it's stupid. Yes I said it, it's stupid. Instead a few years back I made a promise to myself to I dunno change something I wasn't happy with and none of this diet crap and all the pressure that goes with it. I just made a promise to myself, I am my biggest critic after all. A couple of years ago it was to adopt a vegetarian lifestyle, and y'know what..that promise has stuck. I also promised myself last year I would make a big change in my life...and I sit here typing this to you from my room in...Alaska. This year I literally washed away my skeletons. I took a bath and promised myself to rid myself of my mental crutches and the demons in the closet and I promise it'll stick. 

Writing this blog has really forced me to release all the tumultuous bits and pieces floating around and just be a freer person. Even if that means you have to endure reading it. Which who knows if you do. :)

I talk about him a lot but my friend Michael is truly one of my saving graces. I think I'd be pretty lost with out him in my life. The one thing that hurt the most was not "seeing" him as regularly as I normally did. Technology is beautiful in the sense that I can feel as though I'm back home discussing the daily woes with my best bud. Y'know it's pretty rad when your bud can teach you guitar lessons over Skype. Apparently not being distracted by internet and practicing my butt off for two weeks paid off too.

So yes. I look up at the beautiful mountain and the sunset that surrounds it each morning and I whisper to someone:

"Thank you for letting me witness something so beautiful. Thank you for giving me today."

(P.S-I would like to give myself a shout out today for paying off a medical bill, a student loan and "my getting settled" credit card debt. Just one more to go. Oh and I was all grown up and invested yesterday. So I say yaya me! )

(P.P.S-It's been 60 days!!!)