The burning situation

There really should be a support group for us live in au-pairs. Honestly.

Let me just paint a picture for you about where I live. The family has their bedrooms and great room up on the main level. My room is tucked neatly in the walk out basement behind the work out/TV area. I can still hear a lot of the "noise" from upstairs and it's usually a good indication of what's going on for the day/night.

Especially on weekends I don't like to intrude on their family time so I try and be as careful as possible not to interrupt their goings on. Well sometimes a girls got to eat ya know?? It's rather difficult when you are accustomed to going into the kitchen at 10:28 p.m. and whipping up a batch of brownies because you feel like it.

Anyway so I had some genius idea the other weekend to use up the last of my kale to make chips. So I'm prepping all the ingredients,  laid the kale out on the baking sheet, trying to go by memory on the oven temp and baking time. Stick the slimy mess into the inferno and walk over to the bay window to enjoy the view. I nearly peed my pants when I spun around and saw Dr. J snoring away on the couch. I tiptoed back over to the oven where a black plume is starting to arise....I panic...pull out the chips which are now black clouds of dust....push on the vent as high as humanly possible when the smoke alarm goes off...of course. This in turn wakes up Dr. J and I feel so ashamed I don't even know what to say. I can't even find the alarm to turn it off..I mumble something about green leaves and run for my room.

Yeah it happened again...come on ...this is me we're taking about...queen of awkward situations and looking like a baboon....

I remembered the girls mom telling me that they were going to go out for a movie this evening, so I waited until the house seemed quiet. I tip toed up the stairs, the lights were off and the dog was snoring on the couch. Well once again I almost died when I saw a blonde tuft of hair sticking out on the love seat snoozing away. Now I can't very well go and cook something but I'm hungry so I rip open the freezer praying that there is something in there that I can use. There are a couple of smushed together waffles I had made a few weeks back. It's going to have to do. Well there are two small ones and a big one but they don't all fit in the toaster. I get the little ones going first and go to warm up my syrup/applesauce concoction in the microwave. I start watching the numbers until just the right second to stop it from beeping obnoxiously. Phew one hurdle down. The little ones pop up and I put in the big one. I'm tapping my toes here waiting for this thing to be done...when I start to smell a burning aroma in the air. Crap. I quickly unplug the silly appliance and reach for a  fork to pull out the waffle. Just like your mother told you not to do...

This thing starts falling to pieces on me. I mean crumbling. So now I'm pulling waffle bits little by little out of the toaster, reaching for various utensils in some haphazard fashion. Praying the whole time the smoke alarm doesn't go off again. I finally give up and shake the whole stupid thing in to the sink and bolt...

See, we au-pairs need some serious therapy for traumas like this... :)