Transplant

OK-so I haven’t updated in six days…big whoop right? Well apparently it’s four pages single spaced of info that occurred. I’ll probably be gone for just as long before the next post goes up , so you’ll have plenty of time to read this drivel.  Enjoy!

12/20/11-The morning was a complete tornado of activity. I thought somewhat rather over confidently that I could easily get everything done on time. Yeah…not so much. I was buzzing around the house packing bags, checking off lists in my head and scurrying the girls about. I’m rarely late to anything but this was a play date so I didn’t feel half so bad being late. Besides she, herself, was ten minutes past our fifteen minute lateness. The girls were excited to see their friends and play on the bouncy castles. There is nothing like bouncing and sliding when your head is plugged up with mucus and your brain feels like it’s swimming in a sea of fog. Their enthusiasm quickly petered out and they were ready to depart. Well, they were really ready to eat. Apples in hand we headed for our new digs.  I think I gave the poor cleaning lady a heart attack. She was trying to tell me what she was doing while I was trying to simultaneously coral the girls, unload the things and calm this poor lady down and tell her we would be leaving soon and don’t worry about washing the down comforter. The car feeling two tons lighter we rushed to the grocery store and I bought the girls lunch and did some hill billy watching. I also stop caring to tell people that I’m not their mother; it’s too exhausting and long winded. So now I just nod and smile.  Trudging out in the freezing rain we went to the movies.  We watched “Arthur Christmas” and got quite a chuckle.  I ran back to the house to pick up the terror dog and my guitar and the never ending piles of laundry. In the span of coming home and eating a real meal, we lost the internet and my brain cells whilst watching the Disney channel.

Wednesday 12/21/11-J and I started the morning off discussing politics, it’s always fun when your grasping a piping hot cup of tea and your brain is still in “I should be in bed mode.” I think J was off for the day but had other things to do so the girls and I just hung out. I tried to convince them that we should go do something but they were much more congenial just hanging out.  Well I forced them outside in the snow and they ended up having a wonderful time. I packed lunch in to go containers and buckled them up and it was off to swimming lessons we went. There was a wee accident that occurred and we needed a change of clothing. Let me just say that being on the cusp of being right on time and driving in the middle of nowhere it is not fun hearing the words  “I have to go to the bathroom, I can’t hold it, I’m gonna pee my pants.” Then pulling off and discovering your worst nightmare. Bear told me she was never going to be an au pair because she didn’t want to clean up pee. Anyway. Bear and her Dad went to karate whilst Bean and I discovered a new grocery store. Yes, I am that much of a nerd.

Thursday 12/22/11- OH MY. Yes that sums it up.  I consented to letting the girls watch cartoons since I could barely breathe this morning.  I made them waffles and by that I mean I popped them in the toaster .  It may not seem like a big deal making steel cut oats- but oh it was fabulous. While the girls colored. I started prepping for our first batch of baking. We made some fabulous tree and snow men sugar cookies. They decorated them with heaping piles of frosting and glittering sprinkles in festive colors. I felt like my nanny wings were finally being dusted off.  However, much unlike my nanny self, I let the girls watch yet another movie.  Afterward I had the girls put together their own lunches. They got such a kick out of having control of making their own sandwiches, it was rather cute. It took what felt like forever to bundle them and myself up. We headed over to Bear’s school with the dog. I attempted to have the dog join us, until he benignly accosted some other children. His fun in the snow lasted five minutes. Ours lasted close to two hours. At the sledding hill Bear took herself and Bean and I went up and down together. It was THE perfect sized hill. It didn’t require me huffing and puffing during each trip and the ride down was rather fun. We also played “house” on the playground.  I was the Dad, Bear was the daughter and Bean was the Mom, of course. I made the girls laugh with my “father” impression and flopping all over the place on the bouncy horse that a 24 year old doesn’t belong on.  We came home and made hot cocoa with whip up and sprinkles. I’m not going to say we drank it because Bear drank half of hers and Bean just liked off the whip up and sprinkles and spent the rest of the time complaining that it was too hot. I glanced up at the clock and could hardly believe where the time had gone. D came home early from work and we all went to the ice rink. D’s work puts on a lot of nice functions. They even do her dry cleaning, change tires and wrap presents to name a few. The girls had their picture taken with Santa and did some crafts.  D and I navigated the slippery ice terrain and took the girls skating  Wow that was hard work-Bear finally got the hang of it; which was nice given that my hand was going numb from holding on to her so tight. Those skates I’m telling you had no heel support what’s so ever. I was dying.  Thankfully it was rather short and we were off to another holiday party. This place was seriously in the boonies-no one lives in “normal” parts of town.  We wound through tiny little back country roads. For once at a party (we’ve been to a lot) I felt more at ease. I had a nice normal conversation with one of the moms that always waves to me at school but that I never knew.  In the back of the car were two completely passed out girls-D and I carried them inside and tucked them in. I drank a much needed cup of tea and crashed.

12/23/11-12/25/11-Friday-We spent the entire morning/and better part of the afternoon driving around with Dana and the girls running errands. You could tell they were feeling like cooped up little birdies, while Dana ran into the store I did my best to keep them entertained. We ran back home, which was nice, it gave me a chance to check e-mails and what nots and discover that I’m SOL with my credit card statement and need to get my direct deposit rolling.  We had to reload the car with another round of stuff. It was then off to a really awkward Xmas party. The host spent the entire time in the kitchen making dinner and washing dishes. It kind of felt like the class nerd trying to put on a party to fit in and everyone showed up to be polite. It got me thinking about what makes a good party vs. the abyss that I was currently in. Everyone kind of stood around awkwardly and left as quickly as possible. There was a cute foreign accent guy, unfortunately he only glanced my way once and ducked out after eating. We went back to the hospital and loaded up three ginormous boxes of presents. Back at our other house we wrapped presents and scattered gifts from the grandparents. Bear helped me wrap the ornaments that she and Bean had picked out for their parents.

Saturday-Christmas Eve-It was a LAZY morning. I spent the day hanging out in jammers, texting friends and some good ol fashion lounging. It all was kind of a blur. I had been planning on going to church for Xmas eve. I’m not at all a churchey person but I enjoy listening to the Christmas carols and singing Silent Night by candlelight.  I figured that since I probably was not going to go back to church this year that I would try out a different congregation. So I settled on the Baptist church that I pass everyday on K Beach road. Bean asked if she could come with me and with her mother’s blessing she got all dressed up and joined me.  I was very grateful to have arrived early, even for a small town the pews were jammed to the rafters. You could tell that the whole production was very thrown together at the last minute.  The main leader of this deal was making music choices right before service and handing out speaking parts up until the thing began. The program gave no indication of what was to occur. What it did tell me was that there was a theme of being a terrible sinner and having to repent. Prior to service starting Bean decided to read the bible and informed me that Kung Fu Panda lived in Jesus time. I’m sure this did not go over well with the man who was heavily involved in his own Bible taking notes sitting right next to us. The general theme of the night was a story, reading from a congregation member, music and some soloists. Bean leaned over to me during a rendition of “Oh Holy Night” and informed me that “she is a lovely singer”. Bean got to go on stage and sing with the other kiddos,  she bounced up there no problem. Man, most kids I know would not have budged but she was thrilled to go stand on stage. She’s going to be an actress when she gets older. No doubt. Well this four year old is doing a pretty good job of siting patiently but now she’s getting fidgety and telling me that she’s dying of thirst and I’m panicking that she’s going to go home and tell her parents how awful it was. We were redeemed by lighting candles. I made her giggle during Joy to the World by singing in my deep manly voice (insert that here).I did have a lovely canvas of hot wax  all over my fingers. We ended up sitting next to a tone deaf bible thumper who ruined Silent Night. Every year without fail I cry during silent night, which my brother likes to point out to me. Well it’s kind of hard to do when your four year old is waving a candle and the guy next to you sounds like dying cat. We came home and ate ravioli in our jammers. That was probably my first Christmas Eve ever eating dinner at 9:00 pm in my pajamas. The girls opened presents from their grandparents and the puzzles that I got them. 

Sunday-Christmas Day. Woken up by Bear, thank the pear it wasn’t 5 a.m-Jeff was actually up earlier than all of us. Girls had over 30 presents each to open. Their excitement was quickly waning after opening lots of socks and long undies. I felt blessed to have received gifts from my parents and my new family bought me wonderful slippers, socks and a wicking outdoor shirt. The girls put together their puzzles and played games. I made my “looks like baby vomit but I swear tastes great…smoothies.” Jeff made his famous bagels that turned out more like biscuits. I enjoyed some time alone and gave the family their space to be together.  It was this weird feeling of not knowing if I’m imposing on family time or being a recluse. I called family back home and sobbed with every single person I talked to. I was blessed to have spoken with my big sister, the kiddo’s mom and best bud (only person I know that I can call at 11 pm Alaska time) back home.  For Christmas dinner-D graciously made me sweet potato enchiladas and bought my can of cranberry jelly. For some reason I’ve always had a can of cranberry jelly. Always-and I’m always the only one eats it. Then Jeff brought in a moose leg and I nearly vomited. I had to turn my back while I ate my cheesecake. First Christmas away from home was rough.

First Christmas Away (Poem-written while crying and listening to Simon and Garfunkel-curse their awesome lyrics)

Today I miss a lot of people. But I miss my little brother the most. I still have memories of past Christmas mornings being in our bunk beds trying to decide if it was too early to go wake up our parents. I miss the silly traditions, like Mom making vegetarian chili and my dad scoffing and making his meaty version. I miss sitting around the Christmas tree opening up family presents. Going to church and getting all dressed up in our Sunday finest. Mom usually made my Christmas dress and it was a big deal. There was a year that she sewed all of the new outfits for my doll. I miss the rush of being a kid and going tumbling down the stairs to see what Santa delivered. The year I stopped believing in Santa but asked my Dad anyway if there were any gifts he didn’t remember buying.  I still wanted to hold on to that childhood dream. I remember walking away from the Japanese restaurant and asking my parents about the truth behind Santa and the tooth fairy.  There was the year in our brand new suburban house, all decked and trimmed and carols playing and we invited soldiers to join us for dinner. The future looked so rosy and bright and as though everything was going to be alright. Life has surely changed. This year I spent Christmas in Alaska, with a new family and new traditions. I spent my time on the phone talking to the people that I love and care deeply for and poured my soul out in my tears. I couldn’t explain why I was so emotional. Christmas never meant much to this Grinch. Yet, here I was sobbing, big fat tears rolling down my cheeks. I was so cavalier that this day was going to be just like any other.  I didn’t think my first Christmas away from home would be so hard.

12/26/11-Monday. I wasn’t quite sure if I was supposed to be on kid duty today or not so I set my alarm and ignored it for about thirty minutes. I stumbled out into the living room desperate for a warm cup of tea. We spent the morning idly chatting and J and I discussed politics and the current hell hole that America is in. D’s mom (N) flew in this morning to join us for a few days. She was immediately bombarded by the girls. They had set up a treasure hunt for her to find her presents and they could hardly wait a breath for her to get started. After a little lunch, N got out her paints and cardboard and all of us sat around the table water coloring. The girls were quickly bored so D bundled them up and sent them outdoors. The rest of the day will hopefully be spent heading back to the house to send this load of information out into the world and hopefully skyping with my family. All this relaxation is going to make it hard to get back into the swing of things.