Thursday, June 14, 2012
NAME CHANGE!
Hey all...I realized I didn't update the blog correctly. So I've temporarily switched it back to the original name. In the next few days I'm going to switch the blog to wanderingsouldiaries.blogspot.com. Posts about my trip through Alaska/Portland and the process of coming home will be up shortly. Love you all!
Saturday, June 2, 2012
209 Days as an Alaskan Nanny...
It has been the craziest, most challenging, wonderful, strange and awe inspiring journey I have ever been on. No I'm not going not going to sit here and list 209 reasons, a.) I'm far too zombie like for that, b.) no one would read this and c.) that's just crazy talk.
I both need to write right now and also just curl up and go to bed. It's been a really emotional day and I've spent the better part of it crying. Well, then embarrassment when I realized after saying my goodbyes, that I had left my camera and had to go back and get it.
I had steeled my heart for the past few weeks and then it all just came crashing down today. I was filled with doubt, sadness and elation.
The words that have filled this journal over the past few months will never do justice to the changes that have occurred within me. As cheesy as this sounds I am honestly a completely different me. You don't realize what a different person you become when you attach yourself to an emotionally abusive tub of lard. I still have "scars" and sadness about losing someone that was once a best friend but I'm healing and I feel so self confident and less anxious about the little things that I'm not in control of. I'm keeping my fingers crossed it lasts and carries over when I'm back in the places that remind me so much of the past. I'm keeping my chin up that I will.
While this "job" was never a step in the upward direction in the resume world, that was never what it was suppose to be. I can completely sympathize with the stay at home mothers plight. I have never felt more like a taxi driver in all of my life. I always had to be 5 steps ahead of the game and flexible beyond measure. I can brave icy, wintry roads and random spring blizzards. It will be odd not seeing moose on the side of the road and mountains surrounding me.
I will miss my girls so terribly much. They have been the sweetest most amazing girls in the world. My little Bean has made me laugh harder, lose my hair and make the silliest faces that I've developed creases in my forehead. My Bear has the most creative, imaginative mind and can be stubborn as can be, but sweet as honey.
I held them in my arms today and just sobbed.
I know I have wonderful adventures waiting for me in the future.
And most importantly I have amazing friends to come home to. I can hardly believe in 12 days time I'll be back in the land of corn.
So goodbye to my beautiful girls.
Goodbye to the land of Northern Southern hospitality.
Goodbye to simple road directions.
Goodbye to eating moose for dinner.
Goodbye to temperatures reaching minus 20 below.
Goodbye to sandy walks on my backyard beach.
Goodbye to all of my new friends.
But, hello to a new wonderful me.
Hello to a new chapter in life.
Hello to seeing family and friends back home.
Hello to lots of school work.
Hello to travels.
Hello wonderful wide world. I'm here and I'm ready to go.
Love and Peace.
I both need to write right now and also just curl up and go to bed. It's been a really emotional day and I've spent the better part of it crying. Well, then embarrassment when I realized after saying my goodbyes, that I had left my camera and had to go back and get it.
I had steeled my heart for the past few weeks and then it all just came crashing down today. I was filled with doubt, sadness and elation.
The words that have filled this journal over the past few months will never do justice to the changes that have occurred within me. As cheesy as this sounds I am honestly a completely different me. You don't realize what a different person you become when you attach yourself to an emotionally abusive tub of lard. I still have "scars" and sadness about losing someone that was once a best friend but I'm healing and I feel so self confident and less anxious about the little things that I'm not in control of. I'm keeping my fingers crossed it lasts and carries over when I'm back in the places that remind me so much of the past. I'm keeping my chin up that I will.
While this "job" was never a step in the upward direction in the resume world, that was never what it was suppose to be. I can completely sympathize with the stay at home mothers plight. I have never felt more like a taxi driver in all of my life. I always had to be 5 steps ahead of the game and flexible beyond measure. I can brave icy, wintry roads and random spring blizzards. It will be odd not seeing moose on the side of the road and mountains surrounding me.
I will miss my girls so terribly much. They have been the sweetest most amazing girls in the world. My little Bean has made me laugh harder, lose my hair and make the silliest faces that I've developed creases in my forehead. My Bear has the most creative, imaginative mind and can be stubborn as can be, but sweet as honey.
I held them in my arms today and just sobbed.
I know I have wonderful adventures waiting for me in the future.
And most importantly I have amazing friends to come home to. I can hardly believe in 12 days time I'll be back in the land of corn.
So goodbye to my beautiful girls.
Goodbye to the land of Northern Southern hospitality.
Goodbye to simple road directions.
Goodbye to eating moose for dinner.
Goodbye to temperatures reaching minus 20 below.
Goodbye to sandy walks on my backyard beach.
Goodbye to all of my new friends.
But, hello to a new wonderful me.
Hello to a new chapter in life.
Hello to seeing family and friends back home.
Hello to lots of school work.
Hello to travels.
Hello wonderful wide world. I'm here and I'm ready to go.
Love and Peace.
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